Navigating Holiday Feelings: A Therapist’s Guide to Staying Sane(-ish) This Season

If you’ve ever found yourself crying into a mug of hot chocolate while a holiday commercial plays in the background… welcome. You are officially human. As a therapist, I spend this time of year helping people navigate everything from grief to family tension to the pressure of “being merry.” The holidays can be magical, meaningful, chaotic, triggering, joyful, exhausting, cozy, and overwhelming—sometimes all in the same afternoon. So if your emotional landscape looks more like a tangled string of Christmas lights than a serene snow-globe scene, you’re in good company.

First, remember that your feelings don’t take the holidays off. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel—joy, sadness, excitement, grief, numbness, dread, delight, irritation, or all of the above. Emotions don’t magically activate a “holiday mode” switch. This means you can gently stop “should-ing” on yourself. Telling yourself you should feel happy or shouldn’t feel sad only adds pressure. Emotions aren’t moral or right or wrong; they’re simply information telling you what matters.

This season also tends to magnify grief. Whether you’re mourning a person, a relationship, a tradition, or even the version of yourself you used to be, it’s normal for the holidays to stir it up. Let your grief have a seat at the table—maybe not at the head, but a seat. You don’t have to hide it from the people who care about you. Vulnerability might feel risky, but it also creates connection, comfort, and support, which are all things we need more of when life feels heavy.

Family dynamics can also be… let’s say spicy this time of year. Old patterns show up like clockwork, and suddenly you’re 32 but arguing like you’re 12 again. Before heading into family gatherings, try setting a few quiet boundaries for yourself. How long do you want to stay? What conversations are you not willing to engage in? Who can you sit next to at dinner that won’t make you lose the will to live? Small choices can make big emotional differences.

And finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself in simple, grounding ways. Drink water. Step outside for fresh air when everything feels “too much.” Say no without guilt. Watch the cheesy holiday movie. Eat the cookie. Let the people who love you support you. And most importantly, give yourself permission to be a human being having a human experience during a very emotionally loaded season.

The holidays aren’t about being perfect—they’re about being present. And whatever feelings show up for you this year, you’re allowed to make room for all of them.